A Passion Sub Rosa

2011-08-23T00:40:00.002+08:00

If not now,

Then when?

If not you,

Then who?

If not this,

Then what?

Built to Last

2011-08-23T00:04:00.004+08:00

On things left unsaid...

Do you believe that of most regrets, leaving things unsaid champions the category? Irony is, they say saying is easier than doing (pun unintended). Sometimes we do not have the courage to speak; never found the right time; nor the right person to say it to. But i say, you got the person, forget about timings; say it now. If you do not have the courage, get a messenger or other mediums to translate your feelings. What are feelings if nobody knew?

On our limitations..

So we know that there's only THIS much anyone can do. But, how is it some can do a little more and some a little less? One mountain towers the other, greener pastures every where else. Plant a seed, reap not just the fruit but grow a forest at the end of it. It's a never ending cycle unless we're contented. Right now am just only picking seeds but, we'll get there. Have a little faith.

On being laid back..

Nobody said it's right or wrong or bad or good. Lucky for you, im not sorry i am a Spencer because this is where we complement each other like tauhuey is to soyamilk, like salted egg is to crab, like 170cm is to 162cm.

On being in a relationship..

What makes it easy is knowing that there'll be so many other tomorrows to make up for today's deficiency. What makes it even easier is that the cheesy is right about how love will always find a way. And the easiest of them all? There is no one doubt about the magnitude of your love.

And the whole thing about being understanding is knowing that no matter how reluctant, you'd put me first. And it's only right for a champ to teach/explain till the runner-ups comprehend.

When life gives you lemons and you get orange juice out of it,
you know the juicer is a keeper.

Foodscapades

2011-06-17T00:30:00.001+08:00

Happily EVERY Afters

2011-06-07T10:01:00.002+08:00

I don't like it when people say that promises are meant to be broken. Sure, there must have been people in your life who promised forevers and happily ever afters and swear you're the one, until they leave, and left you with nothing but grief. Next thing you know, you'll bump into this very person randomly on the streets again and they'll introduce their new other half, pretending the past never happened and you guys are cool as friends. Then you'll go like pffft forever my foot, words are cheap yada yada. Before you know it, you become this absolute cynic who never believe any other promises others make to you.

As 张惠妹 aptly puts, ＂谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我，以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口＂.

But the thing is this, these promises were true as current as they were. They meant it.. Until they no longer do. We can only point our fingers to one thing; time. Cos time changes everything.

Don't blame a failed but great love story. Be known that we have been loved and been true to. Until then, you'll find another person who you'll love her sneezes more than any others' kisses.

It's no wonder the flu bug has been so persistent of late.

Young and juicy

2011-06-03T11:02:00.000+08:00

Today I miss my 18 year old self. Not just how I looked then, but also how I know this 18yr old would have done everything otherwise than the choices I have made today.

Age does wonderful things to us. Age can also cripple a person (literally too). At 23, I hope I have done everything possible to let you be proud of; everything possible to prove that "I can do this too, or even better" at my age; everything possible to scour any wrongs I've done, anything that I have had disappointed you with.

I know I've tried my hardest and darnest for the past two years. But I find it absolutely ironic that these hard work has been undone simply by being the person that I am. So, have you loved me for the person that I never truly was?

Because I am now emo and given the greenlight to mop, i must say i don't like the person I am today and my life is moulded into this cast called expectations. I will truly be a emo kid now if I said I wanna throw away every goddamn thing and walk away. But too I know, I will never have such balls.

pictorial

2011-04-27T18:33:00.002+08:00

found these residing in my photobucket from damn long ago

eve of christmas

Ohana

Wind's farewell dinner in Jan

!stupid

2011-04-05T18:53:00.004+08:00

Was contemplating never blogging again.. until i finally uploaded my last few trip's photos which i realized ive too many photos which will never get its justice if i only have it on facebook. nothing quite like photoblogging teehee. and blogger has been quite a pain.

bid your goodbyes to subroxa soon! xoxo

my friends say there is an uncanny resemblance. even i dare not deny

wepartiedinSaigon.com

2011-02-09T18:58:00.004+08:00

HCM was the first place I travelled solo for the very first time many years back. Being here again brought back a lot of thoughts and emotions, of how I felt then and there, and how far away these mindless thoughts have long sailed away now. i like to compare current situtations of different periods while being at the same place. like, who mattered then, might not now. feels silly, doesnt it?

anyhows it was a reallyyyy good trip. the very first time the bunch of us travelled together as well. Sara was very nice to host us in HCM. Highlight of the trip was pubbing at Phatty's, clubbing at Lavish and wee hours emo talks/sobs till 5friggin AM. Oh, I also had enough balls to down a idontknowwhatitscalled but its a fertilized duck egg with an unborn duckling. there were feathers and baby bones. i almost gagged though.

came back from HCM to rush for a flight to BKK. god that was exhausting. how many times i've promised never to do back to back flights anymore :(

we [heart] museum

2011-02-09T18:56:00.001+08:00

as i always said, better late than never!

Can you believe?

2011-01-14T16:10:00.004+08:00

It was a random day, we were prepared to head out. Being the procrastinator that I was, only had a faint sense of urgency to peel myself out of the bed when I saw that you were already dressed and ready to go. You chided me to hurry. As I flustered slightly about the room to get myself ready, I felt a little uneasy. From the corner of my eyes I saw you sitting on the edge of the bed, your glance fixated at me, your face a blank expression. I asked you what you were staring at.

In your eyes, I saw myself. You broke the blank on your face into a wide smile. The very words you answered to my question, "Till today, I look at you, like wow, I cannot believe that you're mine."
- 2004

Today, I cannot believe you're no longer mine.
- 2010

With You I'm Born Again

2011-01-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

"When we say things like "people don't change" it drives scientist crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It's always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again."
-Meredith Grey

Giftwrapping December

2010-12-27T13:20:00.007+08:00

Because Decembers are more than just about the mad mad rush of giftwrapping christmas exchanges, it is also the month I giftwrap another year in pretty bows only to have these fragments revisited, fond or not, in the later years.

Decembers also make me oddly sappy/mellow. I blame the gloomy weather. But truth is, December is THE month of 2010. At least for me.

We closed ForeignBodies' 2nd production, where my contributions were a mere fraction that of 2008's but I am so glad I was allowed to be a part of it. I miss being in my oversized tees and nike high-cuts soo much. I miss the people. I look at the new batches of dancers and i admit i was jealous, jealous that they have grown so much and jealous that they can have Dance their number one priority.

pre show prep

one hugeee family

This is also the month where I can be around all the people I love, the people I do and do not often get to see. All the merry making or walking down memory lane. I lost some, gained some and retained most.

Jakarta, again, with my favourite indonesians

Lomo day out with 7 cohorts of FB

If you dont already know, the biggest deal this month/year, is receiving the news that I am given the opportunity to work in the Big Apple. When I was vying for this opportunity, I didnt quite think, I only know I wanted it. I didnt think about the consequences nor the plans Ive to make if I am gone. I was upbeat and nervous, trying not to get my hopes up because Ive never been a lucky person but do my best anyways. The idea seems so far-fetched and way outta my plain jane league. When I finally received the news, I wasnt jumping for joy. I remember my hands were shaking, heart beating so hard and loud, I went straight home to cuddle up in bed. Not the kinda reaction I imagined. Honestly, to date I am still cynical about my luck. I keep thinking I might be cancelled last minute. In anyway, I am scared as hell. The idea of being away alone in a foreign place scares me. The irony of this is that it has always been my dream. This is only a few months stint, but exposed to the risk of a permanent conversion. When dad heard of the news, he hugged me so tight and told me he'll miss me. Mummy being the emotional person that she is, cried. Sis told me to re-think to weigh out my pros and cons, while my bro is determined to manage my Big Baby when Im away. I also had so many good friends congratulating and wishing me luck. Amongst the whole hoo-ha, it is the time where people tell you things that they usually dont. I am happy to hear what I heard, and I hope I've done everyone proud. Have me know that i'll be missed :)

I'd be missing a lot of trip's I've pre-booked, I'll be missing CNY and the important convention in GZ. Most of all, I'll be letting go of the baby I've built for the past year. I hope my hard work will not go to waste. If this sure is gonna happen, please let me handle it well.

We're supposed to welcome the new year in a new place with the same us.
Now I'm a little reluctant for time to pass so fast because they're making it sound like my departure holiday :(
in anyway, HCM, get ready for us.

2010, yo've been so very kind.

head turner

2010-12-09T17:09:00.002+08:00

not because i make heads turn but more like looking back of what we have hit and missed.
maybe because i never anticipated a curtain call so soon. if it is to happen (or have happened, for that matter), let there be applauses that'll ring through my ears for a long time coming. let us know it was for a cause (as current and short term as it is).

looking forward now, i see good thoughts, happy images. i see different places, same people. new me, old us.
the year is coming to a close and im tres thankful for the ability to be thankful for the achievements to date.
now just gimme bigger feet to fill the big shoes.

Done with books

2010-11-21T16:53:00.003+08:00

Finally done with books prolly for the rest of my life. I anticipated this day but alas was disappointed in more ways than one with all the unneccessary drama and stuck in the toilet cubicle crying. didnt get to attend with the few friends i made in uni-life for various reasons and suddenly regretted being there at all.

Also didnt get to attend my own diploma grad being posted out of country for work and this time my parents were the ones outta town. The only graduation they attended was my kindergarten's. Really wished they were here. Cammy sent them a picture of myself in the gown, they came back to sg with a present with that very picture etched in a metal plate and Daddy said he was very proud.

All the drama aside, i am tres thankful for angel/ptt/mel/cammy for coming to my rescue and for eunice and mei showing up at my door despite me nuaing in my bed reluctant to pick up calls.

So, Masters anyone?

Playing host, again

2010-11-21T15:24:00.000+08:00

she makes me so happy

2010-11-10T17:52:00.004+08:00

there's been a lot of the "why do you love the person you love" talk on the coffee table of late. dont know why this is trending but this question kept popping even amongst my different groupies.
in my humblest and roll-eyes-worthy opinion; there are NO reasons.
i cant pinpoint where exactly if you ask me. i think, its an auto-sum game.

then a couple of weeks ago i chanced upon an acquaintance's blog who had exited from a relationship that lasted about all my relationships combined. i thought they were gonna last forever! okay that besides the point, as backdated as i was, there already was someone new (but twas quite a period after the split and people are allowed to move on so dont judge) and she introduced her to the www as "this is the girl that makes me so happy".

maybe becos im such hopeless romantic and you prolly wont go awww the way i did but, this is the answer to a perfect score. Full marks!

having the ability to make anyone that happy, that's beeeautiful. I'd like to know if i've ever put a smile on anyone's face. and i dont mean the times ive to make myself a circus animal just to make you laugh. more like those, you know, cheesy taiwan drama where boy meets girl and girl smile/blush and scene turns blurry dreamy glittery and cue sappy love songs. THAT.

behind the lens

2010-10-21T15:49:00.002+08:00

browsed through some really old photos that i really liked, but never had the time to share (oh excuses hehe). realized too that ive never showed the magic behind the lens. guilty, as, charged.
heres the man with the wand :)

to this:

and also 2 of my elves (ive a lotta blackmail-worthy of you both btw)
oh fun times!

Letter to from Juliet

2010-10-05T18:08:00.003+08:00

"What" and "if" is as non-threatening as words can be.
But put them side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.

What if... What if.
I don't know how your story ended but what you felt then was true love, and its never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn't it be true now? You only need the courage to follow your heart. I dont know a love like Juliet's feels like; love to leave loved ones for, love across oceans for.. But I would like to believe if I were it, that I'd have the courage to seize it.
And Claire, if you didnt, I hope that one day you will.

All my love, Juliet.

(Letter to Juliet, 2010)

tugging strings

2010-09-29T22:57:00.002+08:00

more photos from kite flying!
the two little girls almost made me barf all our picnic food.
twas a good weekend.. which i was on my sick bed for the week after.
all for a good cause though.

DIY rainbow

2010-09-28T19:34:00.002+08:00

and... true to the meaning of #epicfail:

ahahahahahahha

(another) long weekend

2010-09-27T00:57:00.002+08:00

its the littlest of things that paints the whole picture
will be nice if we've had the eyes for details
-

batavia

2010-09-27T00:53:00.003+08:00

our turn to play host

2010-09-08T00:30:00.006+08:00

because photoscape made my life so much easier..

gots to love days like this, where i can keep the people i love close (both physically and mentally).
we have spent 7/10 years of our relationship being miles apart. but everytime we meet again we'll pick it up at where we left; like we've never been apart. although i rather us be trotting on the same soil, circumstances had us testing the faith of our friendship. it doesnt weather with time but like old wine where the addition of years only leaves us better.
"Only a few wines improve with age, and only a few of those accrue any significant value."
and we are the kind of wine that are meant for long term ageing.

I love you my BFF.
-

my long weekend officially starts on Thurs.
we'll be celebrating Hari Raya with Maggie Goreng! On the waters :) just the place i rather be.

2010-09-03T19:10:00.003+08:00

lots of thoughts lingering in my head today. better do a verbal vomit then holding the nausea.

i am no longer18. no longer have enough teenage angst dwelling to go me-against-the-world charging at the spot of red and live like i only had my own to live without a care in the world. now that im 22, i have responsibilities to shoulder, people's feelings to be sensitive to, keeping up to the rise of trough of expectations (which subconsciously brings about their relative counterpart; disappointment) , and things that i love which are now only a phase of my past.

i lived my everyday telling myself that my heart will always, always reign supreme. now, my head and my heart power struggles a lot. though this combat have yet to determine the victor, rational equations are in my head. this very well too means i will give it a rest, give my heart a good good rest. i have no reason to fight. i admit defeat to the fact that we cannot always have what we want and we will only want what we cannot have.

and this is my white flag.
be good, everybody.
stars up there, do your magic.

deuce to seven

2010-09-03T18:17:00.004+08:00

subroxa has clocked in enough poker talk but met its match when i saw his wallpost shaming infidelity with poker terms by his bros. i am deeply comforted to know his bros got his back (as much as i cannot bring myself to like them) because i cant bring my pride down enough to be the one telling him that its okay to feel like the pain is eating your insides, that its okay for a big guy like him to cry, that it'll be okay; the way i did when he last got his heart broken.

ironically, i am neither wrathful by the side-pot she kept. i felt, sorry.
i know, she shouldnt have. but she is after-all, having both feet in to correct her wrongs and grappling with the humiliation that i prolly would never have the guts to stomach.

if its any comfort, just know that your bratty little sister would still have brought you out for midnight tau-hwey/ECP breezing/void deck camping and, you can have the car for the month :)

just as in deuce 7, now the high hand loses.

econs and friendship

2010-08-20T18:35:00.004+08:00

being bored and reminiscent, i logged into friendster and was reminded of this (oh please dont kill me mel hahahaah):

Aug 07 2005, 02:48 PM

last year at approx this time, we just made up.

its been a year since we spent our time taking photos with old mr merlion.

we complement each other in bitching
we can be substitutes for each other, considering the number of people who hate us in town.
the law of diminishing marginal returns states that when an extra input is added the output increases in a less than proportionate manner.
just like our increasing hate for one another affects the amount of fights we have now.
the law of supply states that an increase in price of the good itself will bring about an increase in quantity supplied.
for us, the increase in the amount of times we cried together on the phone leads to an increase in the level of our friendship.
our friendship is price inelastic. nothing wil change the level of it. there are no/no close substitutes for it.

and lucky for us, we defy the ceteris paribus rule of econs. we do not live on assumptions.
i hate you!

<3>

that was 2005, its 2010 now. we no longer cry on the phone but she makes me have thumb cramps on my redberry and judges me with her evil eyes. still the person who cheats 2.4km run with me and still failed. stillll the very first enemy i had when we were 13 over stupid rosters. hahaha

lucky for friendster, i am reminded of the friends that has a share/contribution to my dailies. if you're feeling emo-ingly bored, please just login to the dusty old thing. it is quite a therapy to see how silly everyone used to be. oh the love~

top fives

2010-08-19T17:48:00.007+08:00

The other day we were at the store in Indo, I saw this pair of heeled clogs that literally swept me off my feet. BUT! It was sold out in my size.......

It was such a pain; upped into such high, and dropped like gravity on hundredfold. So we were just saying, like metaphorically speaking, the above case is an epic case of unrequited love. Associating frivolity with such sadness aside, i think it holds its spot in worst-feeling-in-the-world top fives.

I have my worst though.
and these are the top 5 worst feelings in the world (in my very own opinion) in no particular order:

1. Losses
Ive never won anything that i ever wanted to win. I'm always a runner-up (which makes me my no.2 worst feeling in the world). Ive lost people that were dear (either they left willingly or not) and I've lost my ten thousand other physical objects that i would prefer to keep.

2. 2nd Best
Of soooo many competitions Ive took part, I always come out a runner-up. I really rather just be tops. I wanna be on top of my game and know that i come first in your heart (not your friends your family or your exes). Just me, championing. Everything and anything.

3. Non-possession
This is almost akin to drooling at window displays and not bagging it home for obvious reasons. Its like doing a iloveyou but imnotgoodenough and yet, fanjian to wantwhatyoucannothave. Oh, non-possession is at its darkest when you can have it, but they just wont let you.

4. Adapting to changes
Things are always difficult before they are easy. If all is well, all is well. Enough said.

5. Saying goodbyes
This native local was leaving the country with her angmoh counterpart (dont ask me how i know) and her extended family were all at the airport to say goodbye. My god they cried so hard i could hear hearts breaking and I cried with them while I was right behind in queue for immigration (abit chupjikah i know hehe). Goodbyes are really not my forte. It hit me when Angel said I always behave a certain way when I preempt a goodbye :(

My remedy? I keep everything. From movie stubs to cheesy kawaii neoprint pictures to handwritten letters to the scent that almost lingered.

Nevertheless, I got over my heartbreak when my two extremely annoying friends spotted the almost similar pair of clogs in Singapore Cotton On (and tweeted about it). Immediately, I fell out of love (no offence, though). That was easy. :)

S05E04 : 34min

2010-07-27T11:06:00.001+08:00

"People are terrible to the people they love sometimes. They're mean. You're both going through a hard time and you take it out on each other. It's not fun, but it is what people do.
It doesnt make you the worst wife in the world, but you're just someone who made a mistake."

-GA S05E04

not just a second best

2010-06-08T00:59:00.002+08:00

dear uncle agony,

i remember how being second best had been the spark that trailed flames.
now that i am someone's best, it just aint good enough.
i dont know if the worldwideweb has set the bar too high, or i grew up knowing the gambler that i am will keep upping the stakes.

in retort, i saved the new packet of food for you, even if it means i had to pick out the garlic peels and inedible whatnots. i speak my mind because i dont wanna keep mums about what might make me feel a lil lesser for you. i did a u-turn because i thought there was still room for negotiation, even if you quote "there's nothing more to say". what choked me was, you were not at where i left.
blame it all on the technology, because it is so difficult to replace a mobile with one that works. right. and best of the best? the one to call was not you, but someone else who share the same digits as mine.

on the day i woke up to yet another day of swollen lids, hurt is only what it can do to me on the outside. whatever that has the power to permeate beyond my skin, is mine.

when the cards are laid on the table, its all about taking credits. it played in my old hands and, as expected, appeared the same after being dealt. playing cards are just as predictable. and im cashing out my chips.

Twos Too in Glass

2010-06-05T22:00:00.005+08:00

Plastic lens aside.. In glass perspective.

so. much. love
tightsqueeeeze

my vintage dress was wayy oversized so i shortened the sleeves, cinched it at the waist and scrunched it to create the drapes. i am one proud seamstress, not.

also very funny almost all my gifts this year are memories freezer. and thats another reason to be all smiles :)

-

been hearing too much of the youve-gained-weight remarks because, i know. i have gained more than 10kg and i have no absofuckinglutely how i am going to shed all of that. i dont wear anything that reveals much skin now and i only pray for production practice to commence so i can sweat it off in my baggy wear.

i detest the stress eater that i am.

Not-So Terrible Twos

2010-06-05T21:37:00.003+08:00

Unlike SATC taboo's Terrible-Twos, mine was quite the opposite.
the numbers are but a cross axis diagram; the rise in numbers, the slide in effort of being fun. BUT! I permitted the heart to triumph the head by shoving my reports aside to collate a heavy picture post! :D

heads up!

fiddling around with the Diana EOS Lens (which was a perrrfect gift!). i almost, almost got 2 Holga TLRs, no thanks to very faint hints. teehee

speaking of SATC, it is the excavation of burrowed memories and ignites my longing for red-soles slash redcarpetfame slash finedine slash Big slash allthingsbeautiful. so much in a reel.

made of pretty little things

2010-04-26T16:57:00.003+08:00

shes such a dream.
love the hair (I can never do a center-part without looking auntie or ahlian), love the face, love the outfit.
dreamy sigh~
i feel like such a teeny bopper fan. teehee

礼物

2010-04-21T14:20:00.002+08:00

no language translates more beautifully than the Chinese does.
have been on my repeat since i completed the season "Down with Love".
Need more shows like this; light, heartwarming, and makes me feel in love.
Oh, jerry yan! hehe

终于可以在今天划上句点

一整夜翻阅过去画面

快想不起我们为何会诀别

只看到那双你送的鞋

走一步又一步

我才发现绕了个圈

走了好几年又回到原点

你送的礼物会不会太特别

毫不避讳那不安的传言

但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉

难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴

陪我回忆把过往走一遍

穿了这些年难免会有污点

就像每段爱总会有终点

世上最残酷的恐怕是时间

困住人一切却还向前

干涸的眼再挤不出一点咸

爱到如此可悲的境界

走一步又一步

却跟不上你的脚步

你满意了为什么我却只想要哭

你送的礼物会不会太特别

毫不避讳那不安的传言

但渐行渐远习惯到没感觉

难道你早想要我走远

你送的礼物在此刻好体贴

陪我回忆把过往走一遍

穿了这些年难免会有污点

就像每段爱总会有终点

你说做自己吧我们都做回自己哦

不要再为爱受委屈

你送的礼物原来是一场劫

终于分别宿命一样准确

可笑到想要你赔给我时间

爱情有时廉价得可怜

光着脚我一样奔跑鲜血泪水一路狂飙

收起我的骄傲承认曾经备受煎熬

鞋上那记号只有你能明了

过了这一夜我就全忘掉

Who's up for KTV !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chunky Dam

2010-03-29T15:54:00.001+08:00

love how serene this place is (until we made a ruckus)

Battlefield

2010-03-26T16:42:00.002+08:00

i deserve a pat on my back cos, i think i've curbed the grave digger that i am.
and a little bit everyday to make our tomorrows better :)
-

Flight Frenzy

2010-03-26T16:38:00.001+08:00

urmmms... spain for 2010 trip of the year? really?!

a lover's feud

2010-03-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

not every relationship (from your previous or the ones in future) would be spotting the same traits that a relationship should be. but that was one of the toughest lesson I had to learn.

i know for a simple fact that people judge the couple that we are. we are not the kinda couple who bore bears and roses, not the ones to fine-dine on specially selected dates, not the ones who are co-habitating, and definitely not the ones to do a cantlivewithoutyou ineedyou 24/7.

to the less informed, above mentioned was labelled an epic case of "not in love".
and there is nothing more apt than this: -____________-"

for the times i was able to meet my friends without the boy, they dont even ask, we must've had a fight. i feel sorry for us :(

sheer coincidences

2010-03-15T17:10:00.004+08:00

realized the rare times i post here are the times i am dejected/disheartened/disappointed at a particular something. triple Ds!

shifted our house, again! i am very most willing to live out of a box at the rate we are shifting but no, the parents must have my stuff unpacked. i remember being very eager and excited, picturing how my room should be decorated in my head and visiting Ikea thrice a week. Now, i stayed out the nights after over-exerting my physical abilities during the move and to stay away the mess. Sis asked how I'm gonna arrange the furniture and honestly I have no idea where to even begin.

a series of unfortunate events happened since we have traded our cheques for keys. things got a little better when we sought reassurance at the temple. we, humans, very one-kind. everytime we're defeated by the worst of the rough, we pray. despite my lack of religious belief and my bouts of flu, I prayed. (hypocrite much?)

and whether it was a sheer run of luck or pure coincidence, my prayers were answered and even managed to avert from a few cases of possible bad luck. so, thank you.

le sigh. i didnt know how to begin and sure as hell i dont know how to end it.

but one thing for sure, "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not The End."

2010-02-18T16:28:00.002+08:00

there are statistics to prove that the tendency to upkeep one's blog, slides with age.
i, am, aging......

havent been utilizing my dslr well. my film cameras are left at the shelf.
will be moving in a couple of weeks again, and i havent packed!
i promise myself to use the gym and the pool well, and lose weight!
die also must.

cny is the same for me. i dont do visiting, my family and my relatives arent very tight. very touched that Tat has included me in their gambling escapades every year. i also feel quite bad that every year i win their money when im Zhng. didnt win as much this year but winnings nonetheless. They're visiting the casino today! Tempted tempted but $100 entrance fee doesnt sound very enticing no?

been saving up well! come to think of it, i havent bought anything for myself this year.
where has the good old me gone to.

i think age has slowed me down a lot. either that, or i am on the brakes too early.
no parties, no fancy dinners, no shopping frenzy.
the boy brought me out for my fave korean food and movie last night after being chidded so many times for being so homely.
oh wells, dad just walked in with another of my bill :(
taa

Series of B&Ws

2010-01-21T01:29:00.001+08:00

the heart has reasons for reasons itself do not know

how to kill a green-eye monster(?)

2010-01-18T16:16:00.002+08:00

you know you need a lil help if you're always on the lookout for a dose of inspiration somewhere, elsewhere.
when you're upping up the stakes after swiping the poker table clean
when contentment's no longer contained (ironic?)

the www is evil.

two oh, one oh!

2010-01-04T17:41:00.001+08:00

While we're busy fitting into the skins of new beginnings, we might have gotten a little lost in the trails.

So. Resolution for the '10: search for the black that has always been the new.

The top few things that marked my '09:
- left my 1st full-time job after giving my all for one and a half since graduation
- enrolled for school again for bachelors
- incorporated BIG with acra
- got my first credit card (and not on supp)
- been in a four figure debt (and still is, haha!)
- shifted for the 2953648th time to a place which I think can claim my 2nd favourite
- have my first (real) boyfriend
- genuinely thankful for my family, for being my family
- celebrated my adulthood
- major broke from all the other 21st birthdays

hah, I always loved making lists :)

Just a little list for the new year like collecting twigs for my nest:
- have a boutique (the pop-up store is on its way)
- have a new office for BIG
- visit korea in Spring
- graduate with bachelors
- let daddy retire (this man has worked so hard his whole life :( ..)

Gotta live like we're dying.

girls exchanged

2009-12-30T01:10:00.002+08:00

forgot how much i love loud music thumping through my pulse.
forgot how much an enemy alcohol is to me.

jetting off with the girls next week! cannot wait! :D

festive boxing

2009-12-29T01:04:00.002+08:00

the boy had to spend the festive season in camp. can't decide if he's the pitiful one slaving off guard duties or poor me being all lonely. haha
mum&dad prepared steamboat dinner, invited a couple of friends over, windarella helped my mum to a haircut and litted up the pond with floating candles.

this is probably my 2nd favourite home (after all these years of mad shifting). i really love the whole "resort" feel to it. and be known, twas all man-made by the dad. very proud of him :)

this has really been a good year.

09 to 10

2009-12-23T15:54:00.003+08:00

after @stariak's tweet it suddenly dawn on me that 2009 really is drawing a close.
lesson of 2009, is that its not just another cliche that you have to fight for what you deserve.

fighting for you what you want is another thing; luck included. and luck is something that messes with the heads of many, something that's just up to the stars to do its magic.

i was looking at jan's entry; i've completed all of my resolutions! (okay not all but at least all have been attempted)

"f there’s anything to learn from twothousandeight, is that nothing is ever ever easy before they are difficult." haha philosophical much?

will leave the ten big things of 2009 for another day. this year have flew past is just an understatement.

muah muah.

2009-12-23T15:30:00.002+08:00

nice! oh would kill for such legs.

hmm anybody knows if this was taken with tiltshift lens? the proportion looks life sized!

while the rest of you are feeling madly festive, i, am, not.
i am feeling very sore for resisting a pair of strappy platforms. very sore i haven't shopped for aaages! need good reads. k now.

2009-12-22T12:05:00.002+08:00

i don't know what i'm feeling right now? but i know i don't like it, at all.

what good is it when you don't have enough to make things happen.
how ironic it is that in the progress of doing good, you got it bad.

not, happy.

in time to come

2009-12-18T00:51:00.004+08:00

if time had a different place, where would that be?
-
SO! the papers for this trimester is over and done with, i cannot promise there will be no supp papers or re-modules :( goodluck to me.
visited the ex-colleagues at their new office (after what, 2 months?) and it feels a little funny that their everydays are no longer a part of my dailies. i miss them sooo much i had withdrawal symptoms.

i told daddy that i am not worth his pride. i have a suspicion that bankruptcy is written in the palms for me. not too good with (keeping) money.

b to the f to the f

2009-12-16T01:24:00.001+08:00

still have tons of weight to lose its not funny :(

TYL's 21st!

2009-12-08T00:02:00.002+08:00

Now this is 3months late! whahah
good news is, 2009 is drawing a close and there wont be much twentyfirst birthdays for 2010 to boot! -throw confettis!

december is also the month of every year to celebrate all things pretty/new/sparkly/plastic and frivolity! though it would definitely be very very nice to have a pocket that steep. hmmm

boat trip

2009-12-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

okay! 2months late for this post!
still, better late than never! muahh!

been really absolutely busy. next week's my exams and i still feel like ive obtained zero knowledge from this semester. goodluck girl.

other than santa, my BFF and Windarella is coming to town!

2009-11-29T15:50:00.002+08:00

juna! eviee! eunice! joey! am pretty damn sure you guys didnt check out the gigitorres vid as ive mentioned so im posting it here, with absolute awe!

time for my nike high cuts and drop-balls pants! :D

this is pretty much the only way to get me worked up in a sweat.

shots for the kota soul

2009-11-23T23:40:00.002+08:00

short weekend at kota kinabalu with the love and daddykins much thanks to budget airline deals (:
some shots for preview

first day at KK. cloudy, moody and grouchy

the seaside market

from raw to cooked food. from meat to fruits

2nd day was up for island visiting. thank goodness for pretty blue sky (and rented snorkelling equipments!)

arrived at ohmyparadise

lifebuoy for the rescue

cannot believe i swam with these fishes. literally had to get them away from me

next drop at the second island. sun was setting, we were settling

heading back to the city now :)

photo logged

2009-11-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

can't seem to find the zest nor any mojo to upload photos, on time!
catch-up (in obligation to pot's and shaun's request) at the usual place yet again :)

Failure

2009-11-13T16:46:00.003+08:00

-
many of MY failures are when i get too much thoughts in my head, and end up diversifying my attention too much :/ hmmms

poop

2009-11-10T17:37:00.002+08:00

loving my nails. only a couple of rhinestones fell. my next session well be red nails with gold tip!
just went impulsive online flight booking again. those 24hours sale offers are gonna get the better of me.

i am pretty glad with the turnout for TLS at BOB over the weekend. Thanks girls :))

2009-11-04T17:18:00.002+08:00

it was a good call for sissy to take me to annsiang during her lunch break, just when i was feeling superbly uninspired! seriously, i havent mentioned being uninspired so many times in such short span! its funny how visual i am. my mood brightens up when i see pretty things. anything. now my pores are oozing with creativity and the deadline's this weekend. hmmm how now?

this weekend's the opening for BOB at FEP, with TLS! abbreviations much? haha

why does it feel like its friday today?

he says he said

2009-11-02T01:16:00.003+08:00

this is the picture hes hell proud of.
and while i was there snapping pictures like a cliche proud mother, he um-chio! hahah!

its sunday night again; every week this day i cant help feeling a tinge of emptiness even though we're still trotting on same soil. knowing he can't be with me 24/7 aches me a little. i'll be throwing tantrums at, nothing! but theres always friday nights to super look forward too.

you'll be safe honey. your downfall = my happiness.
his leg op will grant him at least a month's MC! -fingers crossed x 10000

Waking up when september comes

2009-11-01T13:15:00.003+08:00

I am finally uploading pictures! Summing the 4000+ pictures into a mere collage.
A few more albums to go! woohoo!

I wanna visit again come winter :)

Revampage

2009-10-29T16:26:00.005+08:00

Schools been a little crazy lately. Finished a 4000 words group assignment on emotional intelligence. Did a paired work of 2000 words essay on defensive reasoning barriers organizational learning. i had to squeeze all this uninspiring modules this semester so i can enjoy my last two sems loving school still.

anyways, thought this was really apt.

meng's doctor googled on his leg ops procedures during his consultation.
-
there's always a trade-off in the good/bad things that happens. so wait it out a little. the big guy said im a golden monkey freed from my chains and i will be able to roam in and out of my cave freely.

i think chinese-english direct translation sounds really funny.

TLS

2009-10-29T16:19:00.003+08:00

some new loots which i very love; need your support :D
THE LOOKSHOP

vodka pretty

2009-10-26T18:42:00.003+08:00

though i dont drink, here's my newest addition to the ABSOLUT limited ed shelf; rock edition
much thanks to DFS
very lovin' all things in studs.

2009-10-26T18:09:00.003+08:00

the last couple of days were just, uninspiring.
i literally have to force myself to work.
i have to meet 3 project/assignments deadlines just this week. i've already been through more than half of this semester yet i dont feel like anything's registered in my head.
and again, i did damage to the car. grrrr

need. that. little. bit. of. zest.

very unhealthy that ive been travelling a lot lately, and live my everydays pining more vacations. Kota Kinabalu coming in 2 weeks! :)

life lessons

2009-10-19T11:48:00.002+08:00

no idea how one can learn so much over a short weekend. life lessons, to be precise. swollen eyes from 2 nights of crying aloud is so not funny. now my mood is just so, dull.

can i be a better person/daughter/lover/friend all in one without being cornered? suddenly it hit me that all that has happened were simply consequences of my own actions. i need anger management and stop losing all my senses when blood rushes to my head.

i got back from a morning flight on saturday. this was one of the more fruitful trips ive had and no want to open credit card bills. major black hole in the pockets.

ive cleared the extra bedroom at the back of my house to store all my goods and a home photography studio. cos going to the studio for shoots are really not cheap. and what best to have it at my own home without having to load my stocks from places to places. oh and it rock that i dont have to lug 60+ pairs of shoes around to pair them with different outfits. now thats something that i really look forward to. my loot will also be in far east plaza by nov too.

time to be consistent now kayly.

now that ive incorporated Big Image Group as a full fledged company, i need to work extremely hard, but smart. truth be told, im kinda of a lost sheep now. my consolation? im not that bad reading maps. i'll find my way out.

dearest team

2009-10-01T00:07:00.005+08:00

the day is finally here. although the smell of freedom is so.. liberating, i still cannot believe i actually left in tears. i dont say i love my job, but i have grown so fond of my colleagues, my boss and my customers. just the people. leaving my routine of my past 18months feels as though im losing a part of me :(

but, its all for a good cause. if not for my departure (albeit a two long months drag), i really wouldnt have known the footprints i have left on these people. and the gestures from everyone and those from other divisions, is a huge contributor for the little wet trails. sobss

i dont quite know how im feeling now.
i'd need to return for a couple of a days in the coming weeks - dread to go back to the tedious tasks or excited to see the familiar faces, really dont know.

i know ive been lucky. for the experiences and the remuneration a mere dip grad could have.
just, absolutely very thankful. sigh. fond/bad memories. i really cant handle goodbyes well :(
now need to live with a perk-less life. think F1 rocks with LG; that was fun haha

moving forward, am also tres excited for actualizing my blueprints in time to come
wish me luck people.

and i wish the rest of them all the happiness and success they deserve.
LG Mobile i wish we can achieve our goal of a double digit market share. we've done it before and im sure you can do it again :)

with a lot of love, kayly.

2009-09-26T01:12:00.002+08:00

finally the card reader's working, the laptop aint shutting, am not sleeping.
so, trying to upload wayyy past overdued photos. view the rest at facebook!

from July'09 tea party for melsie!

lady gaga

2009-09-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

went gaga over the lady who said "i love you singapore. because you guys make some mean fucking chilli crab"

and i loved her even more

2009-09-04T19:36:00.000+08:00

the stars has written that Sept09 is going to be a make or break month.
and because Oct marks a very new beginning to my career, i thought sept wouldnt be so bad.
with 4 holidays lined up for the last quarter of 09, i have missed today's flight and had an airport frenzy of amazing race. quite laughable though.

but looking on the brightside, a day's delay means i can pack more nice outfits and research on my itinerary more. hehe. till im back yalls :D

2009-08-08T16:06:00.000+08:00

blogspot has been champed over by the twitterbug, really.

been trying to jailbreak the ipodtouch for the 98237263th time because ignorance kills. successfully broke away from bars but gei kiang, rejailbreak. (haha this reminds me of our credit card monopoly at tanjong rhu)

anyways, 3 more weeks notice to go. everyday ive been told to reconsider.
and now my credit card bills are also asking me to reconsider its not funny.

10days in perth come sept.
and another trip to the mainland for the trade show in oct!

cant wait (less the empty pockets)

a week more till the boy comes home :)
my walk in wardrobe should be done by then. woohoo~!

sick of pangs

2009-07-31T21:52:00.000+08:00

i told my parents im having xiang si bing.
and they said i buay paiseh. i should be hiding secretly hugging and sniffing his soccer jersey in bed. ahhahahah

brunch at brewerks

2009-07-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

imma little shocked that i last blogged and twitted 26 days ago! omg to drifting away from the www.

anyways, just to hang on to 18 days without the boy, a month till i become DOO and a little little while more to achieving short-term goals. haha. oh, melsie is leaving us on national day's eve :(

sometimes it still feels a little surreal that the person lying next to me, breathing in my face is, him. it still surprises me of the little (and odd) antics he has and the attention he gets whenever, wherever. a tinge of sting when random (female) drive-passers waves to him in the neighbouring cars. hmmms. my very short fuse saw me bordering along hate vs love. but at the end of the rainbow lies a huuge shiny treasure chest.

i never saw the end of a rainbow.

so the BFF is back and gone again. this will be the longest i'd do without knowing when i can see her again.

melsies 21st pics is still unloaded in my memory card.

the boy has been painting my new house whilst i battle at work. shifting starts next week and i have no him to help. the parents tells me i should stop being so dependent on him.

the car is giving problems again.

we've finally completed a 25 pages report in 93846739 hours.

i ate something at every hour's interval.

-
this is a pent-up let out of going a month without twittering/blogging. haha! back to bed.
a lot of love.

2009-06-29T02:23:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldnt be complaining but, I AM SO FRIGGIN WORN OUT!
i wanted to list out the things that ive been doing or currently oustanding on my to-dos but i dont know where to start really.

the first thing upon my adulthood was, to get a credit card.
and now that i have two, my friends think its going to be the death of me.
i BEG to differ. i have (smirks!) passed on the shopaholic streak in me to PTT and boy am i proud to announce that ive ONLY bought a pair of shoe this weekend! :D
while she on the other hand, have been going to way to many sales than she should.

i saw 2 ex colleagues that day and i am filled with envy that their life is no longer as supressed. i am happy for them. and this will serve as a gentle reminder for myself, too.

my fuse has been extremely short lately. the one who suffers the most from this shortfall is of course the boy. sometimes i think i do not deserve someone who can receive all this shit from me and still i come home to find surprises like booby traps, at the expense of him getting in trouble with his captains. i am extremely grateful. for him, i can become the better person. from him, ive learnt that love is really selfless. <3

i cant wait for september to come.

whats written

2009-06-17T00:03:00.002+08:00

i was told, that at times when i feel like losing my grip, i need to chant the make-myself-feel-better mantra. so much so that i think its a trap to the deluded.

and so i took an afternoon lunchhours to ask whats written in for me. okay they said i have to ask a close-ended question so it was a yes-no answer. guess what the big guys answered..
"why do you fret seeking for what will soon become yours". and this, i saw light at the end of tunnel.

i am still holding on, for the monetary gains. my heart is out there, my mind is else where. but i never stopped trying to gather twigs for my nest. this IS going to be mine :)

anyways, a couple of weeks ago i mass sent a text to all my MK0503 loved ones that PEST analysis SWOT analysis and all that load is too familiar to me, but it feels weird not having them around. i miss them much :(
lucky for me, i am in love with my course (as un-hardworking as i am compared to my peers) and the boy who is my biceps pumping pillar :)

i wish that age is just a number. i wish that age doesnt hinder the things i know i am capable of.

days of teh botol

2009-06-08T23:06:00.002+08:00

i am back, with the ultimate weight gain (think indo mie, bakso, bak mie, murtabak, a&w, krispy kreme, ayam penyet, nasi padang yada yada). how not to?

today, i have 5 persons telling me that ive got the chubs.
doesnt help when sams bet with me is none of any enticing factor.

pictures up at facebook wokays.
i have subconsciously lost myself to busy schedules and lost my blogging mojo to the webs of the internet. i shall jog the time i spend making collages. i traded my contacts for my specs and my hair to winda's scissors. the deciding factor that made me realized i lost my vainity is when i was too lazy to photoshop my arms/thighs/zits away for all my collages/photos.

again i say it, again. i love these people. schmuck!

almost gone

2009-05-26T16:18:00.003+08:00

Yuda - says:
if you work for a living, why do you kill urself working !

first time he made sense of something that comes out of his mouth. how very true.

anyhoos my mind and my heart is not here with me.
we're leaving the country in two days and nobody deserves a break more than i do! -evil laughter

so honey, ive waited for the red to go green. now i just need to engage in first gear and a tank full enough to tread the distance. do you think i can make it there?

i know im a latecomer but, HOW CAN A 21YEAROLD GIRL BE HOOKED UNTO NARUTO???

LEGALLY ADULT!!

2009-05-26T00:22:00.002+08:00

16th May'09: Rooftop infinity pool :)
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SHARING THIS SPECIAL DAY WITH ME!!!

the best!

the golden key

2009-05-19T00:20:00.003+08:00

its like an inevitable jinx, to have a terribly bad week before your birthday.
it wasnt my day at work. angel topped off the shit-o-meter when she told me she couldnt make the flight cos she had food poisoning. immediately i slammed my laptop shut and left the office for a facial and massage.

after school, the lousy friends picked me up and brought me to Raffles Marina and JP to kill time. I really didnt mind cos, how to say no to fongseng maggie goreng right? (although sam, you killed it with Sea Angel) then i have a sneaking suspicion that the boy had me in the dark.

with half a heart i opened my bedroom door and this was what i found.

schweeet!

i screeched till the neighbourhood was prolly woken up.
the bff was hiding under the sheets. the boy was hiding behind the door.
okay lah so i might have like gave many many big hints about wanting a collage video, but they were being such lousy friends! sulk!
and then till i was dragged to twentysix and was deadly smashed. (pot you should be guilty) we hereby swear off anymore birthdays at twentysix. what deadly carpark lots.

pictures of the party later! heaps of them.

AND THANK YOU TO ALL MY PEOPLE WHO SHARED THIS DAY WITH ME!
i am tres tres grateful.

my fellow broadricians, each one of you are the pivotal figures in my life.
angel mel pot duckie sam meng
lucky girl, i am.

fashion elite edition

2009-05-09T01:59:00.002+08:00

Zouk Flea & Easy - Fashion Elite Edition
Dear Carol has the honour to be there! :)
sprrrrread the love yo.

tilt and shift

2009-05-04T00:16:00.002+08:00

ive absolutely no idea how he managed the mid-air buddha jump. much to melsie and my failed attempts. but this is absolutely, classic.

gone is another perfect long weekend. but ultra fulfilling with 95% of my to-dos done.
its a little fuzzy, to see the Lohs (and the in-laws) showed up at my golf practice and have a good laugh over our silly blunders. a little fuzzy i threw a tantrum at ptt and she did her "mai angry laa" without me knowing. in case, just in case, you havent already know, i love you all people.

once i said that i can't quite decide over the sayings "our fate is written by the stars" or "fate is our story to write". it still is a bit of a fog to me. least now, im joining up the dots, and fairly making out what the final outcome will be.

how not to be grateful.

renewed joy

2009-04-23T09:50:00.000+08:00

Having seen my double Es and Joey and Leron, I have this compelled desire to put on my dancing shoes again. Now my oversized hiphop tees are chucked in a corner of my already bursting wardrobe, else become my sleepwear. I wanna see Gigi Torres too. Sulk! Anyhows, its already four months since fbodz production. 4 months, I haven’t stretched nor sweat my pores out in the studio nor do my Miss Swan impersonation. I miss these people. ):
My new found interest; Golf. The thud of a perfectly sweet-spot shot is simply orgasmic. Especially interesting that the whole lotta us have picked up the sport. (just like how all have been influenced to use LG phones. Haha)
I am a busy, lazy girl with no time.I have DearCarol, work, school, and my many many other interests, WITH NO TIME!
):
No time to complain either. I need to do something dramatic to my hair again before I lose my self control.

2009-04-15T11:05:00.001+08:00

Long weekends are ze best.
Good Friday with the family and the boy; who got harassed by aunties and politically correct conversations. Saturday with the boys I love at Halo. Many hints to three-tiered cake and birthday videos. Haha!
Easter brunch buffet at TwentySix. All the people I love spent the hours with me at Mt Sophia. Immense pride while watching him strut his stuff on the greens, less any pompoms. –triple chins!

Sometimes I am a sourgrape at heart but die also must deny.
It feels a little surreal that my everydays are with cherries on top. Even my day job is looking on an even brighter side.
No wonder my nights are haunted with nightmares; holocaust in action, conspiracy theories, morbid happenings to the people I love.
I am slightly over protective. But really, I am just so thankful.

Red at the stoplight

2009-04-05T23:28:00.002+08:00

-
opportunities dont come too often, but they must come at the right timing.
he said not to beat the redlight. cos i'd still be the first in line when the green comes on.

so the tricky part is to put my head ahead of my heart.
will do, will do.

surreal so real

2009-04-02T10:19:00.000+08:00

Today im supposed to be trotting on Perth’s soil (much to impulsive online booking), but have postponed the trip till Spring. I have also put my birthday plans on hold (yes I have been planning since Jan). All because talks are undergoing, my blueprint is ready; my dream is really becoming a reality.

Am not gonna elaborate further for fear it might jinx the whole thing.
This is huuuge, for me at least. My good eye tells me im gonna get it right.
Someone once told me there will be no success story if I took the easy way out. She’s right.

I am only ONE step away.
-
Cat, you’re a real inspiration. WE are gonna create the tipping point.
(:

drunk consciousness

2009-03-31T00:45:00.004+08:00

my boss drunk dialed me with a mouthful of words which almost almost made me wanna cry. at the spur of the moment i also made some verbal-pinky which im not too sure if he'll remember tomorrow.. (i hope not? haha)

anyways, not quite the blogger. but, catching up!
photos from chinaaa (again, dslr i love you)

some night shots while wandering the cooling streets by myself

this is the man who sat me down and cleaned my ears to absorb to the every letter of the things he had to say to me. he who never failed to give me his encouragements and gives his best to help me in ways i needed help. there really is no other man like you daddy. <3

piece of me

2009-03-25T23:54:00.002+08:00

my names chuan, they call me boat. im turning 21 in less than two months. i have 2 eyes 1 nose 1 mouth 4 limbs and a bulging tummy. everyday i try to be the best that i can; at work, at home, a friend, a girlfriend and as a person. today, i ask for forgiveness, for the expectations i might not have met.

they say we gain some, we lose some. that we'd be happy at the expense of letting go of others.
we all have choices.. and to continue to give my best.
there are priorities in life, but i draw not a line too clear for ranks.
i want the best of all worlds.
not too greedy, am i?

2009-03-18T23:10:00.003+08:00

my everydays consist of incidences that serves as little yellow post-its,
of reminders that our tasks of life must be done with the clearest of conscience.
very fortunately, my heart is beating, with yours.

passion not so sub rosa

2009-03-13T15:21:00.002+08:00

I know, the change in my relationship status in fbook might have jostled some of your nerves, especially so that he’s mister Blue Rush. As the saying goes, you don’t look for love, love finds you.

To the boy who first shared a stage with me at 6, reacquainted at 13, who scarred me for life at 15 (then scram his ass off after a brief apology), who I turned up without notice at his house to borrow his washroom at 17, who i shook my pompoms for at his finals at 18 (then become wang en fu yi after championing), who bequeath the flowers to someone else(!!!) during fbodz production at 20.. what comes after 21, im very excited to find out (but pretend nonchalant haha).
-
Sorry for the sporadic postings recently. not very articulate, i know.

Tomorrow’s the shoot and that’s another reason to be squeaking like a thirteen yr old girl. I am spoilt silly but Ive got a good feeling that after tomorrow, I am a stride closer into realizing one out of my thousand's dream.

:D

2009-03-13T10:56:00.002+08:00

okay, SO! experiencing 18degrees in china, 30degrees in singers, and 28degrees in Thai in less than 24 hours, is not remotely funny. The usual Me would have extended my stay in Bangkok just to do some major damages to my pocket, but I miss my people too much to bear to. Asking me to choose between shopping and someotherthing is biig, okay! i just wanted to be home. and home is where the heart is :)

at China, I was like the pride of the daughter. I’ve never been any more proud to have him as my father. The trade players recognizes him, even at foreign soil. His knowledge is the wisdom of decades of experience. I am tres tres inspired from the expo, my head is like a bingo machine churning ideas after another. More reasons to get to the finishing line!

Cat, Marcom conference at Beijing okay!
And some interesting convos to share!

At Pattaya, the colleagues recommended this restaurant which we didnt quite know the place to. So, being me, I gei kiang abit at the hotel’s concierge.
Me: Do you know where’s Cabbages and Condoms?
Lady: You want condoms? –raise eyebrows
Me: nonono. Cabbages and Condoms. Rest-tau-rant. Eat eat.
Lady: I like condoms! –break into a sneaky grin
Me: -_-“

Back at singers, playing with the kids.
Enxuan: Do you know 1000 plus 1 equals how much?
Me: I don’t know, you tell me?
Enxuan: I also don’t know. But nevermind, I got Kumon.
Me: -_-“

Funny how dependent kids are on private educators these days.
Times are changing, world is spinning, I am dancing! :)

2009-02-28T02:15:00.003+08:00

its 20degrees over here, nice and cooling. singapore should be like this every damn day.
i think god is pulling an obvious prank on me.
when i say for the 09 i will stop travelling to the places i frequent yearly, china and thailand has been arranged, in this ONE week! rahh.

BFF, holler me pls! my cell is still on 24/7.

VVVVVVHSD, lao niang misses you!!

2009-02-24T22:46:00.001+08:00

for those of you who came for the Fbodz production on the Friday, this is the bloopers which were down due to technical difficulties. very funny lor i think

varying love

2009-02-17T00:30:00.002+08:00

i am very very loved and a very very lucky girl :DDDDDDDD
so, for the valentines, we did the "tail-gate" party (much to spontaneity and in the name of absolute fun). albeit the tummy runs were quite the mood dampener, i am ever thankful for the people that happened (and will continue happening) to me.

i dont know how more apt giving you a painting will be :)

sunday brekkie

2009-02-15T12:38:00.003+08:00

very happy with the weekends breakfast.
very sad we broke the routine, today.
need to lose weight very badly. too full too hungry. sports day here we come!

merlion speak

2009-02-14T04:31:00.002+08:00

the heroine in me no longer proclaims. not that much an energizer bunny no more (angel, i need you to refill my tank!). so now that ive curbed my unhealthy spending habits, i am back fuelling my tummy with more than its contained capacity. not very wise, but very happy (:

today, we revisited a fragment of our memories backdated five years ago. she flashed me a text which i sent on my sweet sixteen (very bittersweet now) and, memories arent that antiquated after all. there will be times, sporadic renewals of the ones you love and loved. and love is vocal. love should be made known (:

i have ticked at least three items on my to-dos for the twenty-oh-nine, already.
i know i very gei kiang. can get my bachelor in 6 modules but i chose to double major.
then also very gei kiang thinking i can dive into my pocket like donald duck's private pool of funds.

happy love day everyone!

and also thank you, to know that sometimes even though i might be too worn out to take the wheel, i know that you will always take it from there. (and not just figuratively speaking)
thank you for rekindling that faith in me, to free fall from eeeverything and aaaanything else, and know that you will be that safety net for me. thank you, for urging me to take the the alternative route that i knew existed but never the courage to step foot across.

sometimes we can do without the incessant marking of one self's deceiving net worth. heart over matter, anytime.
life, is sweet like that (:

happy three friends

2009-02-10T23:04:00.003+08:00

you said that i looked very happy here, i dont deny. i am.
this is to the 2 most important people in my life.
and if there ever comes a day i need to make a choice, i'd choose you both over anything, anytime.
(but pls dont make me choose between you two. lol)

with lots of love, your favourite beloved chuansie.

love like jam

2009-02-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

kantangyong, I love you and everything else in between. I cross my heart I cross my soul that if I ever disappoint, I'll let you drop me at KPE and langa me with a truck (rental at my expense) fifty times over. Or if you rather, child-lock me in your car and release your toxic gas fifty freaking rounds over.

Tomatotan, you also a whole lotta love. For your ducks that quack me awake in your bed, for confiscating my many twenty-cents, for putting back my purchases, for keeping me awake at night, for burning your left boob (im sorry!),for the many many many little things that you do!

This is me, very very thankful.
The oh-nine kicked off a fantastic start, fabulous month-end (by far the most pleasant month-end ever in the past 10 months) and with luck on my side. Cannot be complacent, luck please stay on my side at least till the angbao draw.

Topic of the week: how will your spend your 10mil if you win the draw? :)

visual vomit trois

2009-02-01T04:28:00.005+08:00

we have been practicing to wake up early (or rather, survive on mere hour's sleep only) to an ironically healthy lifestyle; having breakfast by the bay, at the kopitiam, watch soccer, do light exercises, refrain from profanities, laugh alot, talk even more.. what life. really, the pinch point to wrap up our weeklys :))))))

morning yacht visit, coffee and breakfast

sleep, is absolutely over-overrated. imagine the time i have, to freely run my errands, complete my list, with the people that matters :))))))))))))))))

visual vomit deux

2009-02-01T04:10:00.003+08:00

the weather was fantastically perrrrrrfect, the ride was beautiful; we couldnt pass the chance of not documenting the picturesque into the eos. (it is especially fantastic that i do not have to doctor and edit the raw images in photoshop before publishing. eos, i love you!)

visual vomit

2009-02-01T03:20:00.003+08:00

i know, i know. now that we've trucked ourselves into the new year, shed off some weight of our to-dos, i still find no time doing subroxa justice!

photos from like a couple of weekends back.
too many twentyfirst birthdays to attend!

need to shed off some pounds, no kidding already!

2009-01-21T00:02:00.000+08:00

2009-01-19T11:45:00.003+08:00

my weeks have been sort of splendid. i wanna cup my hands, rest in on my cheeks, head tilt a little, point my toes and draw circles on the ground. totally betty boop.

though the bubbles burst faster then they come, i am still so.. -heaves a dreamy sigh.

okay so the impulsive streak in me is hailing its way back home.
my bank statements are not very comforting.
booked a trip in feb and another in april.
go everywhere anywhere also got things that i "need"
put my purhchases in my basket to find it missing again cos the friends did the dirty job by putting them back on shelves behind my back.

so theres been many 21st birthday parties to attend for 2009.
makes me jitter with excitement about mine!

friends are people who shuts you up the moment you climb into the car. not very nice, are they.

resolution for the week: sleep some more!